before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
