Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
