we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
