I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
the gays at disneyland are vicious
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
