There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
wow bdsm is so cute
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
