Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
