We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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