She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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