Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
