Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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