who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
