News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
