Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
