He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize