Capitaan dildo arrescate!
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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