So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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