If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
