I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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