CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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