Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
