I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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