I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
