I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
