the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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