**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i would punch a child for taco bell
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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