..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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