Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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