Do you still have your period?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
