Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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