I want to stick my p in your. b.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
