Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
