Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
