i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
