What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
