You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Need sex. Gaining weight.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
