i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
