I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
