bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
