You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Green mimosas i think yes
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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