come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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