He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
