this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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