i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
