But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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