So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
zippers are such a cool invention
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
