i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
