He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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