you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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