And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
