The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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