love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
