we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize