i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
