Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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