There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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