a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
