it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
