They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize