just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
