Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
why do cheetos always look like penises
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
