when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
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