i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
