Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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