You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
