Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
