you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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