I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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