she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
