Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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