ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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