i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
