So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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