apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
