think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I need to sanitize my soul.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
